Announcing our all new Pointless Certs

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Crucial Exams Launches "Pointless Certs" to Disrupt Absolutely Nothing
April 1, 2025 – Chicago, IL, USA

Crucial Exams, the leader in helping you pass certifications that actually matter, is proud-ish to announce the launch of our most ambitious and utterly useless product yet: Pointless Certs. Finally, a suite of certifications that validate the skills nobody asked for but everyone already claims to have on Twitter (we refuse to call it X).

Click here to get certified today!

“Pointless Certs will revolutionize the way absolutely nothing works.”

“We’re redefining standards in satire, one pointless certification at a time.”

— said Lin Meyer, Founder of Crucial Exams

The prestigious Pointless Certs lineup includes:

Certified Joker
Do you know all the Balatro Jokers?
Never wanting to miss out on the latest trend, we have launched a cert that proves test-takers knowledge of the Jokers in the hit game Balatro.

NCCP+
No-Context Communication Professional+
Master the corporate art of sending cryptic messages like "we need to talk" and replying “ok.” Be the chaos you want to see in your team’s group chat.

PMPr™
Project Management for Procrastinators
Why finish it today when you can scope creep it into next fiscal year? The PMPr™ teaches the sacred arts of overpromising, underdelivering, and perfectly timing your coffee breaks. Scrum? Take a nap instead.

CPAW+
Certified Professional in Advanced Whiskerology
Cat hair in your coffee? Good. This cert proves you’ve spent more time analyzing toe beans and bleps than sleeping. Perfect for aspiring feline behaviorists or anyone with at least 3 cats and a broken laptop.

MEMEBOK Certified
Master of Meme Usage and History as defined in the Meme Body of Knowledge
Finally, a framework for referencing Advice Animals in every conversation. Prove you were around when the internet was actually fun and silly. Guaranteed to get you blocked by your manager on Slack.

“These certs are built for the modern, chaotic workplace where being a menace is just part of the vibe”

— said no one in HR.

Earn your Pointless Cert today and proudly hang it next to your "Employee of the Month (Self-Awarded)" plaque. All exams are available now at:

https://crucialexams.com/april-fools/2025/index.html

Remember: These certs won’t help your career—but they will help you win arguments on Reddit, which is basically the same thing.

Media Contact: Bash the Bot Crucial Exams Chief Meme Officer (CMO, obviously) support@crucialexams.com

Crucial Exams is not responsible for misuse of Pointless Certs in professional settings. Especially not on your resume. Seriously, don’t do that. Or do. We’re not your boss.